My Favorite Quotes

Petronius Arbiter (died 66 a.d.)
We trained hard . . . but it seemed that every time we were beginning to form up into teams we would be reorganized. I was to learn later in life that we tend to meet any new situation by reorganizing: and a wonderful method it can be for creating the illusion of progress while producing confusion, inefficiency, and demoralization.

Albert Einstein
When a man sits with a pretty girl for an hour, it seems like a minute. But let him sit on a hot stove for a minute -- and it’s longer than any hour. That’s relativity.

Teddy Roosevelt
The best executive is the one who has sense enough to pick good men to do what he wants done, and self-restraint enough to keep from meddling with them while they do it.

The Hon. Barney Frank (c. 1996)
How does the fact that I love another man and live in a committed relationship with him threaten your marriage? Are your relations with your spouses of such fragility that the fact that I have a committed, loving relationship with another man jeopardizes them? My God, what do you do when the lights go out?
(speaking in the U.S. House of Representatives in opposition to the ban on gay marriages)

We come into this world naked, bloody, and screaming – then things get worse.

We come into this world naked, bloody, and screaming; if we’re lucky, that doesn’t have to change.

(from a t-shirt)
I've smoked dope, chewed rope, danced, French romanced, fucked, farted, fought, shot the moon and drove big trucks. I've been to Janesville, Maine, Spain, Spokane, and Fort Wayne, seen three world fairs, been around the world twice, looked danger in the face, and seen goats fuck in the marketplace, but I ain't never seen no shit like the shit that happens on RAGBRAI.